Quantum Mechanics for Dogs
Dave talks to me about the stuff that he reads
A lot of it with words I can barely heed.
It makes me feel good when he talks to me
He explains things so I can almost see.
Dave reads stuff that sounds kinda strange
When he explains to me thru the human-dog exchange
He finished a book about Quantum Mechanics
These words tangle my dog tongue into panic
So he tells me this story about tiny little particles
Smaller than Iams Minnie Chunks these sub atomic articles
Hard to imagine until I thought about ants
Imagine a Dog speaking some science rant?
So he told me about things like protons, neutrons and quarks
I got so excited I started to bark!
Then he said the things called quarks have flavors
That made me drool all the quarks I could savor!
Tasty little buggers I could eat quite a few.
But he said quarks are too small and hard to chew.
Maybe for him but not for me.
I got “quark” incisors in my mouth you see.
He also said there things called photons
Much lighter than neutrons and protons
He said these particles are like bad Oregon Drivers
That crash into each other and leave strange survivers
With odd names like Gamma Ray Photon
Whose kid sisters name is Emily Positron.
I think she must be from a divorced family
With a different last name even a Dog can see.
Dave says that neutrinos are really strange
And that they have an almost limitless range
He says they can pass right through you and not hurt
I think I just felt one go thru my tail into the dirt!
Dave says there is also something called the Time Line.
This stuff is starting to straing my Dog IQ real fine
Dave says Mr. Proton and Mr. Electon had a traffic accident
Hit so hard they were all beat up and bent
When the kids flew out of the Proton Mobile
They went off on a tangent quite miniscule
When out of the bus came little Gamma Ray Photon
Dave says this is because of the wreck with Mr. Electron
So poor little Gamma went out the back door
Backwards thru the Time Lines front door.
So Dave says that’s how the kids go back in time.
For a repeat performance on the time line.
I have this Chuckit Ball that’s orange and bright
Dave says it could be photon of light.
When he throws it for me
I have become the photonic Dogton you see.
I think I’m starting to get this “Quantum” deal.
Relating science to food has it’s appeals
Now I’m the only Doggy on the block
That understands the sub atomic clock
I’m starting to feel like a real smarty pants.
And it all has to do with my recollection of ants.
Quantum Mechanics for dogs not very hard you see.
When Dave explains all of this to me.
Zephyr and Dave Proffitt